Turn me Off and Tell me Down	02:59 am

I hate having to think. Unfortunately, I'm being forced into being sentient once again. Or for the first time perhaps. It's impossible to know with my memory. Either way, if I ever have been it was back when I was a little brat. Very funny. It just seems such a waste of time not being a drunken retard most of the time. Worries and sorrows, pain and feelings; all things that are easier to cope with under influence of something.

Everything is easier when you get help. But if you do not deserve help - is it right to deny it? Or do you lose the right to object at the point where your life becomes pointless to yourself. "You don't care about yourself, so why should I?"

It's true. I can't possibly deny the logic, and I have no reason to. Besides being selfish and contentious, of course. And contemptuous. As always.

Ah well. There's always another day, another punishment, another way to justify my being through whatever act can bring me closer to something resembling... justification.

How deep. Guess it's time for sleep.